I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
