a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
