Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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