Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
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i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
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I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
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