the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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