I bet he comes in French.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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