What a fucking waste of an outfit
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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