either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
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