After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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