So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
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Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
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He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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