her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
