the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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