Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
