the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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