I molested 6 butterflies tonight
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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