I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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