I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Randomize
