i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
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