After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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