Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
