Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
i need to put some appletini on your dick
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
