ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
