I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
