College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I want a musical about memes.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
