whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Randomize
