no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
