Nicole vs. Life
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
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