Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
I think my moral compass just broke
Randomize
