he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
