just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
