Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
