Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
So please don't worry, but I need some help getting blood out of my drywall so I can get my security deposit back. I would not ask if the need was not great.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
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