I molested 6 butterflies tonight
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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