so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
We talked him into tasing himself.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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