The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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