Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
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nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
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I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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