ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
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Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
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It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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