But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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