just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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