oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
We are two peas in an std pod
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
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