you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
