I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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