he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
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