oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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