There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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