I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
she told me i tasted like america
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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