What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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