So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Dick very happy bro
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
