No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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