Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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