no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
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I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
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They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
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