I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
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