hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
