the new term for farting is butt boxing.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
