the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
