It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
