I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize