I hate your face
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
