brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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