I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
