After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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